I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
