what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
