He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
