and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
