I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
