Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
