She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
