4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
