I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
wat bout pragnant strippers??
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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