Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
