I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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