I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
