Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
