I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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