In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
