Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
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