I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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