Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
