I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
