names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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