brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
