i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I am naked and annoyed.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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