we have pet lesbian snakes
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
How does it feel to date your dad?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
