i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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