This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
