I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
