yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
