Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
