How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
