I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
