I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
