Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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