I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
