Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize