highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
