D3 body, D1 cock
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize