I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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