Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
