It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
