My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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