you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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