I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
