So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
