i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
