So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
