do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
