im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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