Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
