Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well I just put wine in my tea
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
