That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
