yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
