You're so nebulous sometimes
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
