the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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