apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
