she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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