No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
