I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
