you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
