He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I want a musical about memes.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
